The official contest isn't until Tuesday, so I have the next two days to perfect my pitch. Let me know what you think, good or bad!
Here is my entry:
Title: BITERS
Genre: YA Dystopian Romance
Word Count: 80,000
Pitch: In a world of necrotic cannibals and fanatic survivors, a self-reliant teen must find a way to work with the boy who betrayed her to stop a madman from destroying the last remnants of humanity.
I haven’t slept soundly since the world ended.
Stuck somewhere between waking and dreaming, I hear a muffled thud.
I reach for my pistol. A few years ago, a seventeen-year-old girl might have kept a phone under her pillow, anxious for a call from a boy or a text from her best friend. Now it’s a firearm. Lucky me.
Odds are the noise is my new roommate – for the umpteenth time. I hate that damn cat. I never take chances, though, not anymore. That lesson is tattooed on my soul, inked in the blood of those I’ve failed to protect.
Gun in tow, I slide off the bed, careful not to make a sound.
The good news? The noise wasn’t the cat. It’s fast asleep in the far corner. I won’t have to kill it for waking me – this time. The bad news? The noise wasn’t the cat. That means trouble.
I like your pitch and your first words! I don't have any suggestions for making it better.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like a great read and you do an excellent job of building drama to make me want to read more.
Good luck!
I really love your pitch! And I have to say, I think this is the first time I've seen a one-word title that hooked me in as much as BITERS does. The only thing is when I read the term "necrotic cannibals" it sounds like a fancy way of saying "zombies." (Which I am totally okay with. It just tripped me up for a second.)
ReplyDeleteGreat excerpt! I'd definitely read more. The voice was awesome.
This is how it should be done. Awesome pitch, great first sentence, great voice.
ReplyDeleteIf nothing comes of this contest, keep trying elsewhere. I really think you have something great here.
Good luck!
I thought it was excellent (but I might be prejudiced)! LOL I do like the “self-reliant teen” Maybe instead of “necrotic cannibals” you could use “diseased flesh-eaters”?
ReplyDeleteHa! Love,love this! The pitch is great and the excerpt is funny but still has tension. I also love the voice and have an immediate attachment to the MC. Great job!
ReplyDeleteOooo, gripping! I so want to find out what the noise was!
ReplyDeleteWell done! Good luck!
Wow! OK- first thing.. A...MAZ...ing first line!!
ReplyDeleteI haven’t slept soundly since the world ended.
Just wonderful!
I really like all of this!! Great job!
Thank you all for such lovely comments!
ReplyDeleteHey there! Love your blog layout! So purty! Your story sounds great too!
ReplyDeleteNice to meet you!
Lovely to meet you, too!
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